In order to really share all my experiences with you guys and for you to make the most of it, I think it’s crucial that we take a step back and a quick look at what we’re dealing with here. Because obviously, the dating environment changes depending on where you are, and while I am not going to pretend to know fuck-all about dating in the US, or UK, or Asia, or whereever else – I do know a little bit about how it’s done here in good ole Denmark.
First of all, we don’t even have our own word for ‘dating’ in the Danish language. I guess at one point, we saw what the Americans were doing and found that to be a pretty nifty concept, so we jumped on that right away. But there are several things that made the adaptation of dating into Danish society a little bit difficult:
Danes are notoriously shy. You can walk around a Danish city all day and hardly make eye-contact with anyone (unless they are trying to get you to sign up for Amnesty International). People are friendly enough if you just stop them and ask for directions, but forget about striking up random conversations with strangers; they’ll think you’re barking mad.
This of course makes for bit of a challenge when it comes to meeting a future partner. You’re not just going to run into them in the local supermarket and get asked out on a date. This isn’t an American romcom, people! (I also have to admit that i am often guilty of blaring loud music in my headphones when out in public. I’m just trying to get shit done, so I can go home and watch Netflix). Upside to this is that I can’t remember the last time I got catcalled.
But as shy as the danes are on a daily basis, when the alcohol goes in, we’re suddenly very approachable. On a night out on the town, it’s fairly easy to chat up the cute guy at the bar, and totally acceptable to just join a group of strangers for a drink and a good time. And the hooking up obviously goes easy, but the morning after, it’s nearly impossible to get in for an actual real date, so I wouldn’t bank on this strategy if you’re looking for someone to bring home to the parents.
It is of course totally possible to meet someone through your personal network, but really, online dating was practically made for the Danish. Here, we can sit at home on our phones or laptops and easily select who we’re interested in, without fear of rejection. And then, we can think up a witty answer and catchy pick-up lines, and we won’t even have to put on pants.
When it comes to genderroles in the dating scene, we’re not too rigorous. It’s totally fine for a woman to ask out a man, and splitting the bill is a pretty normal occurence. Dating is a pretty casual thing; going to a cup of coffee, or a beer, or even a trip to a cafe for a bite to eat. Usually, we don’t go out to restaurants on dinner-dates unless it’s getting pretty serious, because eating out in Denmark is rather expensive (but at least, waiters don’t have to rely on tips to make a living-wage).
So, that’s a bit of context for you – I think i pretty much covered all the major points, but is more comes to mind, i’ll be sure to add on in the future. Now we can move on to the fun part.
– Fat Medusa